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Yes it’s possible—and God’s plan!

Do you want to know a secret to enjoying a beautiful oneness in marriage?

It’s actually quite simple.

As selfishness is the destroyer of healthy marriages—selflessness is the garden where wholesome relationships flourish!

So often, we’ve seen marriages struggle when partners become trapped in a cycle of selfish and destructive habits like fighting for control, keeping score, and hiding true self.

The human quest for control is nothing new—it’s been plaguing relationships since the beginning of time.

But the tension created when we’re trying to control each other and keeping track of every wrong prevents a marriage from flourishing.

And when we hide our true selves from our spouse it’s difficult to become vulnerable and be truly known—but being known is where true intimacy lies.

When a marriage is plagued by one of these habits, instead of being filled with the love, trust, kindness, and peace we’re thirsty for, marriage can feel more like a battleground or—equally bad—a barren desert.

But there are essential biblical principles that lay the groundwork for experiencing a lasting and intimate marriage as God intended.

As you and your spouse let God speak Truth into your relationships, you’ll:

  • Recognize how selfishness prevents your marriage from flourishing.
  • Discover how vulnerability leads to true intimacy.
  • Rekindle the vibrancy and joy you once experienced.


Jill and Stuart were married for more than 60 years, and they learned many lessons and made many changes during that time—most related to defeating selfishness. But by honoring God’s Word and depending on God’s Spirit they were blessed to be a blessing.

We’re grateful for your prayers and support as together we share the Gospel with people throughout the world so they can experience the extraordinary relationships God desires for us and fullness of Life in Christ.