I was talking with a woman—I’ll call her Sharon—who was struggling with forgiving her husband for wronging her years ago. She told me, “I’ve forgiven him, but the hurt won’t go away!”

Then Sharon admitted she was always “playing the tape” of how he’d hurt her, which told me she was being strangled by a bitter root of unforgiveness. She really hadn’t forgiven him.

“It’s just like Velcro,” Sharon told me. “It’s stuck on my heart and won’t let go. What can I do?”

We knelt together, and I said, “Let’s quit trying to make it go away and just ask God to take it! You’re helpless in this. Let’s give God permission to take it away.” And she did.

Maybe you’ve been hurt by your spouse, or someone else, and you’re keeping a running record of those wrongs. Forgiveness begins when you give God permission to take it. First Corinthians 13:5 says, “[Love] keeps no record of wrongs.” Love doesn’t chew on it, and love doesn’t enjoy constantly bringing it up because “Love does not delight in evil but  rejoices with the truth” (v. 6).

If you have a hurt that’s sticking like Velcro, tell God, “I can’t do this! It’s Velcro, God, so take it. Work a miracle for me—that’s Your job, not mine.”

You can’t fix it, but He can fix it if you let Him. He’ll lend you His power and everything you need to see His love transform any relationship.

More on this topic:
Bring new Life to your marriage
The guaranteed way to win with your spouse
A word from Stuart: Language of love
Jill answers questions about relationships and singleness